Neighbors

This is where I live. Mr. #7 lives upstairs, and a mutual friend connected us this week. I'm a little wary of intra-building dating, but it was lovely to spend some time with a neighbor.  He is ambitious, talented, loyal, forward-looking, and good-looking.

A few recent realizations about the ultimate Mr.: he will be classy and well-mannered, have experience and/or aspirations of world travel, embrace change, and listen at least as much as he talks. I'm also thinking about establishing some age parameters for my 45 remaining dates.

Onward...

love.com?

Inspired by two dear friends who met on eharmony and recently got engaged, I've been amping up my online dating efforts. I met up with Mr. #6, a match.commie, for a quick drink tonight.  His profile was instantly appealing because he seemed to know the difference between "your" and "you're" and didn't use a single "lol." We didn't fall into the weeks-long email trap, which I much appreciated-- who has time for that?!

He was very easy to talk to-- a good listener, interested in what I had to say, and also had good stories of his own.  Also: funny, smart, driven, outdoorsy, responsible. Weirdly, we had gone diving on the same remote island nobody's ever heard of within a few weeks of each other-- so he definitely meets my pro-travel criterion.

Two thumbs up. I predict we'll be seeing more of this one, readers. Stay tuned.

Om

Mr. #5 goes to the same yoga studio as me, so we agreed to meet up before class for a walk and then go to dinner after.  How could I say no to a date where I get to wear yoga clothes?

He is a whirlwind of positivity, upbeat, driven, determined, focused, curious and interesting. Spending time with him was was uplifting and inspiring.  There was no love connection, but while we were waiting for dinner I chatted up the guy behind me, who was adorable and intriguing.  Maybe he'll be Mr. # Something.  Stay tuned, my dear readers.

Balls

Staring down the barrel of a week with no dates, I strapped on a pair (sorry...so vulgar!) and called the friend of a friend I had met before the holidays and asked him out.  Readers, you know this kind of courageous act is not usually my style, but the 52 dates challenge emboldened me.

Mr. #4 and I spent much of Monday afternoon and evening together, traipsing around Detroit from bar to bar in honor of Dr. King.  He is a lovely person: very smart, steady, sure of himself and his goals, affectionate, warm, honest and funny. I was delighted to spend time getting to know him.  So delighted, in fact, that our date lasted over 9 hours. Which brings me to my lesson learned...

It's easy for a date to deteriorate into just a drunkfest. So, new rule for my 52 dates: If I have more than 2 drinks, I can't count it as a date.  I'll let yesterday squeak in, but there can be no more 4-bar, 6-drink, daylong extravaganzas that leave me still drunk at 10AM.  This does not jive with my ultimate goal (big love grounded in honesty and truth...not mutual slurring and stumbling).

Onward...

Sweet

I had dinner with Mr. #1 tonight. (My many loyal readers will remember that I met this guy for coffee on Saturday and found him smart and nice.)  I mentioned my love for Pete's Chocolate, a local truffle maker, and Mr. #1 said that he couldn't find Pete but brought me some other chocolate instead:

Very sweet and thoughtful, no?  He is a good-hearted and well-mannered guy. Also good at asking questions; I got to talk all about Cape Verde, one of my favorite topics, thanks to his queries.

Four things I learned tonight:
1. The ultimate Mr. Awesome will be someone who makes me laugh, who has a "glass half full" kind of outlook, and who is enthusiastic about life.
2. I am a huge wimp.  Instead of telling Mr. #1 that he was great but we didn't really have a love connection, I thanked him for dinner and bolted, with Big Plans to send him a "thanks but no thanks" email later.  No more of this.
3. My dream of combining love and mobility is definitely possible.
4. I need a camera. I took this picture with my phone and I don't think that you can even see that it says "hazelnut and currant dark chocolate--" and if you could see that, you would be even more impressed with Mr. #1's unique taste in gifts.

lessons learned over cactus and sangria

Date #2 last night: Mexican dinner. Great lighting and service, good food and sangria.  I ordered cactus and had the leftovers for lunch today:

I was really looking forward to spending time with Mr. #2, who I had gotten to know a little before the holidays. He is smart, well-read, considerate and grown-up (ie, not trying to live like he's still 24).  I really liked his openness and honesty about past relationships and his dreams.

I was thankful for the opportunity this date afforded me to learn a few things about myself and what I want in my ideal relationship.  First, I realized that I have been living in a grad school bubble, blissfully unaware of pop culture and current events.  I need to get with it a little more.  Second, my ideal relationship will be with someone who is not only smart, open and honest but also enthusiastic, confident, and adventurous.

And the search continues!

....and, we're off!

Date #1 happened yesterday: coffee and conversation in Ferndale.  I give it two thumbs up! Coffee (I actually had artichoke tea) is a good first date because no one gets drunk and sloppy. Not that I would ever get drunk and sloppy on a first date, hmmmm.

Great things about Mr. #1: open and honest (as soon as he started talking about work, mentioned that he didn't pass the bar). A good listener (and we all know that's important for a motormouth such as myself). Had some insights about relationships (talked about how opposites might attract initially, but it's not always good for the duration). Asked great questions (my favorite: How did you get into that work?).

All in all, a rousing start to the year. I like to believe he gave me two thumbs up as well, since he asked me to go out again.

Finally-- I'm supposed to include a picture with each post.  Picture for this date is of my favorite footwear for first dates with gentlemen of unknown height; Mr. #1 (who has maybe an inch on me) approved.