The Best Policy?

I'm having some serious second thoughts about this undertaking, readers.

The whole idea behind this blog was to be an exercise in positivity and honesty, finding the good in people and experiences and also make a concerted effort to find my big, amazing love.  From the start, I committed to giving everyone a fair chance and writing only nice things about each date-- with the idea that I should be totally comfortable letting any one of them read what I had written.

Admittedly, I haven't told any of the Mr.s about the blog, and maybe this was because I knew on some level that it would not be well received.  Tonight I went out for dinner in my neighborhood with the former Mr. #19, now known as Mr. #21. He is many things that I admire: laid back (doesn't have or seem to want a stressful job), sweet (seems to really prioritize his friends and relationships with other people), and low maintenance (he went to the bathroom during dinner, and came back lamenting the fact that he hadn't looked in the mirror before leaving home and didn't realize that his shirt was wrinkled.  I know it will be a shock to those of you who know me (not) that I also didn't notice his unironed state.).

I told Mr. #21 that I was dating with a purpose (the purpose being to find a big love), and that I was writing this blog.  I told him all the high points: only positive things, no bitching and moaning, blah, blah, but he looked a little stricken and admitted that he was freaked out.  Heart piercing quote: "I wondered why this smart, beautiful girl wanted to go out with me, and then I realized: I'm just a number."  I quickly countered that such was NOT the case, that in fact I only went out with people who had big love potential, but I could tell I had really hurt his feelings.

I feel terrible, readers-- like this whole thing was a bad idea, and I'm in a lose/lose situation with it: I can either tell, and end up offending, or keep it secret, which is really kind of like lying and NOT the way I want to be.

Not sure where I'm going to net out with this. I hate to give it up (and leave my many loyal fans with nothing to read), but something probably has to change.

Brave

Hi readers! It's been a busy few weeks but I haven't forgotten about my 52 dates pledge.  I was getting a little burned out on online dating so started looking around the real world.  I met Mr. #20 for less than a minute in late April when I was at a bar with a friend who knew him.  In our brief encounter, he seemed intriguing and kind, so I tracked him down, confirmed his single status, screwed up my courage, and  called him. (Please note, I was largely motivated by my friends' insistence that if I didn't call, I had to do the chicken dance in the middle of Grand Circus Park.)  

I was almost derailed when his outgoing answering machine message said, "...leave US a message," because who says that when they live alone? I improvised, leaving a message that could be construed as sort of a professional inquiry, and Mr. #20 called me back.  We met up on Friday for a drink and it quickly became apparent that 1) my worries were unfounded and 2) this was definitely going to count as a date. Mr. #20 called me brave-- possibly the greatest compliment someone can pay me.

He is sweet, thoughtful, smart, easy to talk to and open to adventure. I'm thinking there is a dinner in our near future. Stay tuned, brave readers.

No wasted time

I had a moment of panic this week thinking that I needed to have 26 dates by June 1st to be on track for 52 in the year.  I calmed down when I realized that JULY 1st is actually the midpoint of the year, but not before I had accepted Mr. #19's invitation for coffee in Ypsi.

The invitation came without a lot of preamble.  For those of you not immersed in the online dating world, let me enlighten you (alliteratively, because you're worth it) as to the process. People peruse profiles, pick potential partners. Emails ensue. (And, that's enough alliteration for now.) The length of the email stage can vary from a few days to several weeks (or, in the case of one joker, 3 MONTHS. But that's probably a story for another post.).  Like many things in the online dating world, there is really no norm. Some people (not me) like to talk on the phone before meeting someone. Some people write really, really, REALLY long emails (see: this guy).  Mr. #19, not so much.  He wrote me out of the blue last Thursday-- a short but sweet message alluding to dinner. I replied that I love and often eat dinner (true, even though I never eat dinner on first dates). He mentioned that he worked early mornings and was done by mid-afternoon.  I mentioned that I would be Ann Arbor on Tuesday. Plans were made. The whole thing was VERY efficient. Maybe he's German.

We had coffee at one of my favorite coffee shops. Mr. #19 seems like a genuine, caring, laid-back person, a loyal friend and generally a good soul. Bonus points: he also has a dog.  Double bonus: he called on Friday. I think there's a future for this one, readers, and it probably involves dinner.

Friday the 13th: great day for a date

Friday was sunny and beautiful, and I'm not superstitious at all. Mr. #18 and I went for a walk by the river, my favorite place in Detroit.  It always makes me smile, but things have been going so well in my life this week that I scarcely need another reason to grin.

Mr. #18 is also new to town (newer than me, even).  He's a dog lover and has striking blue eyes. He is smart, adventurous, passionate about his work, happy in his life.  He's definitely quirky (I think some people use this word to describe me. It can be a very good thing.)   We also have somewhat similar backgrounds, which might be important.

Learned a very important lesson on this date... communication is a two-way street. And...onward

Plenty of fish

Mr. #17 (also known and Mr. #14, 15, and 16) took this picture during our romp around Belle Isle on Saturday afternoon.  We had a good time exploring the island, playing with my dog, and chatting. I learned a few lessons for which I'm grateful...

Lesson #1: Someone can be awesome, smart, funny, and kind, but if there's no spark, there's just not. And I want not just a spark, but a whole freakin' fireworks show.

Lesson #2: Four dates is too many with someone I don't have chemistry with.  A wise friend reminded me the other day that "If you're not sure whether or not you have chemistry, then you don't." True that.  Three dates is enough.

Lesson #3: Potentially awkward conversations about having no chemistry are best conducted in person.  Having them over email leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm gonna go gargle now.  Onward.

Good Health

Hi readers! It's come to my attention that some of you REALLY missed me this past month! Sorry! I went on vacation, and since I was well ahead of my quarterly target (I had gone on 15 dates by the end of February, and the goal was 13 by the end of March), I took a little vacation from dating as well.  But now I'm back in full force to tell you about Mr. #16. We've met this guy before here and here.  He is smart, funny, considerate, self-aware, and easy to talk to.  Before I left for vacation, we made plans to go out again on Saturday: dinner and a comedy show.

I'm getting over a nasty cold, and Mr. #16 had a broken arm from a recent bike accident.  So we were not exactly a picture of good health.  We rallied, though, and had a good time. Mr. #16 picked me up right on time (actually a few minutes early)  and we headed to dinner at a vegetarian restaurant that I think will become one of my new favorites! It's about a fifteen minute drive, then there was a wait and service was slow, so we had plenty of time to talk. Our conversation topics ran the gamut: my recent travels (I'm still glowing), broken bones (in general and his specifically), cars (we do live in Michigan after all), bad customer service (kind of a rarity in Michigan), college sports (I didn't have much to add here), raw diets (more on this later), and why nurses steal drugs from hospitals (who doesn't talk about this on dates, really?).

After dinner we walked a few blocks to a comedy club. The show was sold out but Mr. #16 had thought to buy tickets ahead of time-- nice.  The show was ok, but we were more amused by the honking laugh of the women in front of us.  I ordered a seltzer, and Mr. #16 also abstained from adult beverages.  He's not much of a drinker; in fact, I've never seen him imbibe.  This is interesting.  I know I've specifically said I want someone who prioritizes a healthy lifestyle, and after dating a lot of heavy boozers and cheeseburger addicts, this guy's emphasis (obsession?) with distance running and biking is almost refreshing (remember how after our second date he had to go home so he could wake up the next morning for a 16-mile run?).  He seems to eat like a normal person (based on the two dinners we've shared) but he talked about how he follows a mostly raw diet during the week.  I'm impressed, but maybe a little overwhelmed.  Just like I can't really keep up with a 6-pack-a-night drinker, I might be on a very different plane from this guy.

So the question: Is this kind of lifestyle difference too much to get past?

Time Flies, Part 2

Mr. 14 became Mr. 15 on Friday night. We went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in Detroit. I was excited but exhausted and was secretly hoping I would get to be home at 9:00 to read and sleep. Alas, I enjoyed another marathon date with this guy.  4+ hours of dinner, political commentary, funny stories, sad stories, and my beverage of choice:

That's right, readers, no booze with this dude. He had a coke; he was getting up at 5AM on Saturday to run 18 miles or something ridiculous like that. I'm thinking he'll be a good influence on me.

He also has good manners: he left his phone on the table and explained that he had some kind of work drama and might have to take a quick call during dinner.  Nice, right?

I told Mr. Teetotaler Superathlete that I was leaving town for a month (it's true! I am!) and he promptly asked if we could get together again on March 31.  So, it looks like I'll get back into town with something lined up to start off the second quarter.  See y'all then!