Some Thoughts on Introverts and Extroverts

Hi Readers,
I decided to keep going for awhile, and went out with Mr. #33 last night. We've met this guy before here; he is smart, funny, quirky and interesting.  We had fun seeing some outdoor music, having a great dinner (melon soup for me!) and, eventually, getting caught in the rain (no, no pina coladas).

And not only was it fun, I learned an important lesson.

As an extrovert who comes from a family of introverts, I've always known that some people are totally comfortable with (and, in fact, PREFER) loooooooooooong silences.  I've also known that I am not one of these people. My threshold for the length of a comfortable silence is much shorter than that of many people, some of whom share my last name. :)

Mr. #33 would fit right in in a conversation with my dad, my brother, and other introverts I know and love.  And while I love them, I don't think the eventual Mr. Amazing is going to be such a strong introvert.

Onward...

Dispatch from below the Mason Dixon

I'm still in North Carolina, and embraced it by going out with a real southerner. Mr. #32 is from Georgia but now lives here.  He's determined (has set and attained some pretty huge goals), self-aware, and, like me, a little obsessed with both physical fitness and general self-improvement. No chemistry, but I learned a little more about what I do and don't want.


Readers, I must admit, I am kind of losing steam for this project, while simultaneously gaining steam for work, yoga, and all the other things I do. My mama always said I would find  love when I least expect it, after all.  


Will you be very disappointed in me if I don't a) make it to 52 or b) find a big love this year? Any words of wisdom you'd like to share?

Details be Damned

As you may know, I'm a fan of technology. In fact, I'm writing this post on my iPad in an airport. (Hence no picture--sorry.) So when I realized that a smart, funny, interesting guy who I'd been match.com emailing with actually lives 2+ hours away, my first thought was, "Maybe we could Skype." (Actually, my first thought was "I need to learn a little more local geography," because I really thought he was just down the road. Sigh.) But, Skype we did, on Wednesday night, and it was lovely. Mr. #31 had wine. I had water. You might say this isn't a date, but it's my blog and I'll count it if I want to. We talked about work, family, small town living, and other standard first date topics, and also about how if something's right, it will work out, and everything else is just details. We also talked about meeting in the flesh after both of our travel schedules settle down a bit, which looks like it might be at the end of July. Stay tuned! PS-- I'll be in New York for the next week if anyone knows a potential Mr. #32 I should meet!

Welcome Back!

Hi readers! I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. Well, you haven't, and I just had date #30. Mr. #s22-29 is great, but we're in different states for now so...onward.

(Quick life update: I'm living in North Carolina for the summer. Here's my new house. Isn't is sweet?)

Mr. #30 is sweet, too. We met for coffee at my new favorite coffee shop. He's also a recent transplant from the midwest, so we swapped stories about Ohio turnpike driving and commiserated about the heat.  He was smart, interesting, and hilarious in a dry, non-midwestern kind of way that I find very appealing.  And he sent me a text later saying that I had very nice hands-- a compliment I've never received but that I found kind of intriguing.

The One I've Been Waiting For

Hi readers.  Sorry to leave you hanging after last week’s date with Mr. #21.   I didn’t want you to think I had stopped the whole endeavor!

In fact, I’ve stopped writing because Mr.#22 (who is also now Mr. #23 and #24, thank you very much) and I are really digging each other. So, the 51 frogs project is now on hold indefinitely while I spend some time getting to know someone who is fascinating, creative, warm, thoughtful, open and honest, who carried my dry cleaning on his bicycle and has big dreams and talks about big ideas and makes me laugh, laugh, laugh. He also likes Seinfeld and does yoga. And yes, he’s hot.

Onward…

The Best Policy?

I'm having some serious second thoughts about this undertaking, readers.

The whole idea behind this blog was to be an exercise in positivity and honesty, finding the good in people and experiences and also make a concerted effort to find my big, amazing love.  From the start, I committed to giving everyone a fair chance and writing only nice things about each date-- with the idea that I should be totally comfortable letting any one of them read what I had written.

Admittedly, I haven't told any of the Mr.s about the blog, and maybe this was because I knew on some level that it would not be well received.  Tonight I went out for dinner in my neighborhood with the former Mr. #19, now known as Mr. #21. He is many things that I admire: laid back (doesn't have or seem to want a stressful job), sweet (seems to really prioritize his friends and relationships with other people), and low maintenance (he went to the bathroom during dinner, and came back lamenting the fact that he hadn't looked in the mirror before leaving home and didn't realize that his shirt was wrinkled.  I know it will be a shock to those of you who know me (not) that I also didn't notice his unironed state.).

I told Mr. #21 that I was dating with a purpose (the purpose being to find a big love), and that I was writing this blog.  I told him all the high points: only positive things, no bitching and moaning, blah, blah, but he looked a little stricken and admitted that he was freaked out.  Heart piercing quote: "I wondered why this smart, beautiful girl wanted to go out with me, and then I realized: I'm just a number."  I quickly countered that such was NOT the case, that in fact I only went out with people who had big love potential, but I could tell I had really hurt his feelings.

I feel terrible, readers-- like this whole thing was a bad idea, and I'm in a lose/lose situation with it: I can either tell, and end up offending, or keep it secret, which is really kind of like lying and NOT the way I want to be.

Not sure where I'm going to net out with this. I hate to give it up (and leave my many loyal fans with nothing to read), but something probably has to change.

Brave

Hi readers! It's been a busy few weeks but I haven't forgotten about my 52 dates pledge.  I was getting a little burned out on online dating so started looking around the real world.  I met Mr. #20 for less than a minute in late April when I was at a bar with a friend who knew him.  In our brief encounter, he seemed intriguing and kind, so I tracked him down, confirmed his single status, screwed up my courage, and  called him. (Please note, I was largely motivated by my friends' insistence that if I didn't call, I had to do the chicken dance in the middle of Grand Circus Park.)  

I was almost derailed when his outgoing answering machine message said, "...leave US a message," because who says that when they live alone? I improvised, leaving a message that could be construed as sort of a professional inquiry, and Mr. #20 called me back.  We met up on Friday for a drink and it quickly became apparent that 1) my worries were unfounded and 2) this was definitely going to count as a date. Mr. #20 called me brave-- possibly the greatest compliment someone can pay me.

He is sweet, thoughtful, smart, easy to talk to and open to adventure. I'm thinking there is a dinner in our near future. Stay tuned, brave readers.